every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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