You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
