We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
