My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Randomize
