i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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