I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
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He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
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I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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