I'm really into asian looking animals
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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