Just mADE A PArabola og urine
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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