i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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