doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
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I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
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Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Im part way to drunk.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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