we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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