I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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