If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
