I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
is wine microwaveable?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
