those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
