It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize