I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
