Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
