i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize