I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
