Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
