and you said cock pushups were impossible
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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