this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
There's always time for handjobs
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
