PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize