At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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