I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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