you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
