I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
