One girl and one boy is just not enough.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
