remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize