i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
