im six kinds of drunk right now
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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