i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
i believe in u and ur pee
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
