You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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