Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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