he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
