Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
