Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
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