and i looked up. we had an audience...
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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