I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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