69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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