seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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