coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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