i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
its liver damage thursday
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
