Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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