no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
