you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
