I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
