I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
My hand turned me down
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
