The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
