I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
