i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
