I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize