No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Randomize
