Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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