Swine flu. Run for my life!
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
