She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize