Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
