Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
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